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Planning or attending a baby shower and not sure what the etiquette is? This friendly guide covers everything—from who hosts to what to write in a thank-you note. #BabyShowerPlanning #ShowerEtiquette #BabyShowerTips #NewMomLife
Baby showers are such a sweet way to celebrate a growing family—but let’s be honest, the etiquette side of things can be a little… confusing. Who’s supposed to host? Can you ask for diapers instead of onesies? And what’s the deal with second-time moms—do they get a shower too?
If you’re planning a shower, attending one, or just trying to do things the “right” way, here’s a guide to baby shower etiquette that answers all those awkward questions people usually end up Googling at midnight.
Let’s make this fun and simple—because welcoming a baby should be joyful, not stressful.
Who Traditionally Hosts the Baby Shower?
Once upon a time, it was considered poor form for a close family member to host. The idea was to avoid looking like the family was asking for gifts. So usually a friend or coworker would plan the shower.
Fast forward to now, and those rules have definitely loosened up. These days, it’s totally normal for a sister, aunt, or even the mom-to-be herself to take the lead—especially if she loves party planning. Co-hosting is common too, which helps spread out the effort and expense.
Bottom line: anyone who loves and supports the mama-to-be can host a shower. Just make sure she’s comfortable with the plan.
When Should You Have the Baby Shower?
Most showers happen when the mom-to-be is around 28 to 34 weeks along. She’s usually showing (so the bump can get some love), but still feeling well enough to enjoy the celebration.
Of course, there are plenty of exceptions. If she’s expecting multiples or dealing with health concerns, you might want to plan it earlier. And some families choose to wait until after the baby arrives, especially in cultures where it’s more traditional to celebrate post-birth.
There’s no wrong answer—just go with what makes sense for the family and their situation.
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When Should You Send Invitations?
The sweet spot is about four to six weeks before the shower. That gives guests enough time to RSVP, shop the registry, and mark their calendars without feeling rushed.
Digital invites are totally fine (and often easier to track), but some folks still love the charm of printed invitations. Either way, just make sure the invite includes:
- Date and time
- Location (or link, if it’s virtual)
- RSVP deadline and contact
- Registry info (yep, it’s okay to include it!)
- Any special notes like a diaper raffle or book request
Is It Rude to Include the Baby Registry on the Invitation?
Not at all. These days, it’s expected. Guests genuinely want to know what the parents need, and a registry helps avoid duplicate gifts or a million newborn-size outfits.
If you want to make it extra polite, keep the wording simple. Something like, “The parents are registered at…” or “Registry available upon request” works perfectly.
And yes, it’s also fine to gently suggest diapers, gift cards, or books if that’s what the family would prefer.
Did you know Amazon has a Baby Gift Registry? They also have a diaper fund too which is perfect because you can never have too many diapers! Find out more here.
Do Guests Have to Bring a Gift?
Technically, no. A baby shower is about celebrating and supporting the mom-to-be. But realistically, most guests will want to bring something—especially if there’s a registry or if gift-giving is part of the invite.
If someone’s on a tight budget or isn’t able to shop from the registry, a heartfelt card or homemade meal voucher is just as thoughtful. It’s the kindness that counts, not the price tag.
Can You Ask for Diapers, Gift Cards, or Books?
Absolutely. These days, it’s common to see diaper raffles (where guests bring a pack of diapers to enter a prize draw) or “bring a book instead of a card” notes on the invite. Gift cards are also super helpful, especially for second-time parents who already have the big stuff.
The key is how you ask. Keep it light and fun. A little rhyme or sweet note gets the message across without making it feel like a demand.
➡️ Check out these fun enclosure cards
Do Second or Third-Time Moms Get Baby Showers?
Yes! Just because it’s not the first baby doesn’t mean there’s nothing to celebrate.
That said, the vibe is often more casual. A “baby sprinkle” is a popular option—usually a smaller get-together with light snacks, fewer gifts, and more of a catch-up-with-loved-ones feel.
Another idea? A “sip and see” after the baby is born. Guests come by to meet the baby and share in the joy without the traditional shower format.
Should the Mom-to-Be Open Gifts During the Shower?
It depends on her comfort level. Some moms love opening gifts while everyone oohs and aahs. Others would rather skip it and just enjoy the company.
There’s also a trend called a “display shower,” where guests bring unwrapped gifts and set them up on a table or display. That way, everyone can see the goodies without a long unwrapping session.
Whatever you choose, just check with the guest of honor first and go with what makes her feel most at ease.
Are Baby Showers Just for Women?
Not anymore. Plenty of showers are now co-ed, especially if the parents want to celebrate together.
If you’re planning a co-ed party, think about food, drinks, and activities that everyone will enjoy. You don’t have to ditch all the cute baby-themed touches—just balance it out with some more neutral or playful elements so it doesn’t feel like anyone’s just tagging along.
Who Typically Pays for the Baby Shower?
Traditionally, the host covers the costs. But let’s be honest—baby showers can get expensive fast.
Many people now split expenses between co-hosts, ask family members to help out with food or decor, or keep things simple with a potluck-style event.
There’s no shame in sticking to a budget. A beautiful shower doesn’t have to be elaborate—it just has to feel special.
Do You Have to Send Thank-You Notes?
Yes, thank-you notes are still a thing—and they’re always appreciated.
Ideally, they should go out within two to three weeks after the shower. If the baby arrives early, everyone will understand a delay, but it’s still a kind gesture to follow up when you can.
Pro tip: Have someone jot down who gave what during the gift opening. It’ll make writing notes so much easier later on.
Final Thoughts
At the end of the day, baby shower etiquette should never get in the way of a joyful celebration. Traditions are helpful, but they’re not rules carved in stone. What matters most is that the mama-to-be feels loved, supported, and surrounded by people who are excited to meet her baby.
So whether you’re planning a fancy themed shower or a backyard sprinkle with cookies and lemonade, trust your instincts—and don’t sweat the small stuff.
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